My friend took her own life on May 18th, 2018.

Hey Annie,

I’m not sure what to write to you because I’m still not sure how to feel. Part of me is mad at myself. But I think that most of me is mad at you. And I’m sad and confused and lost. It’s so unfair to lose such a bright and bubbly soul. You don’t just get to choose this and expect me not to be mad.

It’s been more than a month and I still hate myself everyday, I still miss you immensely every day. I take Ativan to sleep and I take Klonopin so the pain isn’t quite as severe. I wish you knew how much I missed you.

I wish I knew sooner what you were feeling. I keep replaying Wednesday night in my head. The way you acted so normal, and that you didn’t ask for any of the help or attention you deserved. I keep seeing your smile, which could light up and entire room. I miss my friend, and I don’t know where she went. And I know you will have a place where your ashes are, but I can’t believe that’s where you are now. I can’t believe that you’re stuck in a urn and I’m supposed to move on with my life.

I don’t know how to feel about you. You never told me you needed me. I could have come upstairs. You could have come downstairs. Texted. I would have listened if you just told me you needed me. I want to tell you that I would have come. I would have stayed up all night and hung on tight and not let you go and once the sun rose, we could brave Friday together and get you help. 

You also never even gave me the chance to save you. I’m pissed you took the easy way out and left us to pick up the pieces. Didn’t you think that I’d want to do the exact same thing when I lost you? God, every day I think about how if I could go back in time and take my own life before you did, and potentially saved you, I would have. But now these are just words and I can’t do that.

I think about it all the time. And then I thought about how much you damaged everyone now that your life is over.  Your poor parents. Your friends. Everyone is broken because you took your life. And I’m realizing that my life isn’t just my own. My friends and family expect me to be in their lives, because I’m important to them the way you are important to me. I have so many things I need to do, that I need others to do for me. I need my mom and dad to see me walk across the stage for graduation. My sister needs me to babysit her children. You need me to let people know the truth of suicide. I’m not going to give up on myself.

Thank you for making me realize the best in life, even though you had to lose your life to do it. Your soul will never be forgotten. 

I miss you more than I love ice cream.

Love,

Charlene

Day in a Life

Thought I'd shoot for a happier post today. Or at least one that is less depressing.

Here's a typical Wednesday.

7:30 am - Wake up
8:00 am - Breakfast at Carrillo
8:27 am - Head to the SciTrek lab
8:40 - 10:30 am - Classroom time
11-11:50 - Fundamentals of Theory lecture... the most pointless class right now
11:50 - 12:00pm - A mad dash to bio lecture
12-12:50 pm - Bio lecture
12:50-1:00pm - Obnoxious seat saving
1-1:50pm - Soc lecture
1:50-5pm - Hang out and study in the library
5:00 pm - Head home for dinner

Then, I usually just study in my room, watch netflix, or generally be pretty unproductive. :)

Today

Today was one of those days.

It completely humbled me. Kicked my ass and reminded me that I was human, that I needed help, therapy of some sort. I know that a lot of my anxiety today stemmed from my perception of things. And I'm trying to fix that.

My anxiety flared today. It started with teaching a class full of students, eager to learn and hanging on to my every word. I stressed about saying the wrong thing. These kids would hear the wrong thing, and it would sink in, and they would go the rest of their lives believing the incorrect information, I thought.

And once that was over, once I was back at school and ready for my first lecture of the day, we realized we didn't have enough drivers. I volunteered to drive...but also to miss my first class of not only the day but also the week. The schedule was screwed up enough so that I actually had to drive twice and was literally thirty seconds from being late to biology.

Not fun.

An anxiety attack was triggered in bio. It lasted for almost three hours. During this time, I had to get through my list of errands. And there were so many. Paying a small fee, returning the van, creating a powerpoint for my volunteers. I had to change my major today so I could get a class to raise my GPA, and then found out that I needed to have a minimum GPA to get that class...which I didn't have.

I bumped into my ex. My hair kept brushing the back of my neck. The two sexual assaults I experienced in high school and last year were always at the front of my mind.

After the anxiety, there was the fact that everything everything EVERYTHING went wrong. The van had a tire pressure light turn on while I was on the freeway. We checked the tires and nothing was wrong. The tire pressure light stayed on for the rest of the day though... which was worrisome.

Today was just a day. Tomorrow will be better. I hope.

2018 Sucks

Posts are gonna be pretty sporadic. Friend was diagnosed with leukemia 1/9/2018.

On top of that, also on the 9th, there were crazy mudslides in Montecito, in which over 20 people died.

Santa Barbara is sort of a disaster. First the Thomas fire (which wasn't in SB but it did get pretty close, and the air here was definitely a health hazard), then the mudslides. And then, they dumped the mud into the ocean and now, the ocean is too dangerous to go in due to high levels of bacteria.

Woop. Like I said. 2018 is really sucking right now.

2017

2017 sucked.

I started the year off well. January and the first half of February were relatively okay. Sometime in the middle of February, however, I was diagnosed with mononucleosis.

It took months, but I did eventually get better - I was feeling almost 100% by the end of winter quarter. I even traveled to China during spring break!

Literally the day I got back, however, I ended up with cancer.

During the year, people died. People came into my life and left spectacularly... in terrible ways. I got sexually assaulted...by at least five people, and of them all, I only know the identity of one person. I don't know how many people have been in me.

2017 was hard and I don't know how I got through it.

The way 2018 is going, however, I don't think it's that much better.

The Plan!

This year, one of my new year's resolutions is to blog every week of the year. Fifty-two blog posts in fifty-two weeks!

Some posts will be long, and some will be short. Some will have pictures, and some won't. Some will have quality content, and to be honest, some won't... but I'm determined to do this anyway!

Why am I doing this? Well...

Over winter break, I ended up in the hospital...twice. The first time was due to overwhelming anxiety and nonstop panic attacks. I would spend days in bed, not even getting up to eat, go to the bathroom, shower... it was terrible. And I guess it was a little too pitiful, so I ended up with some good medication that helped me deal with the crazy mess my life became...

Of course, until I overdosed on said medication and spent another few days in the hospital quite literally on suicide watch.

During that second hospitalization, I journaled... a lot. I wrote until my hands bled, and then switched to typing until my vision was blurry. And it was therapeutic and it helped me begin to sort out the complicated emotional mess in my brain, so here I am. Hopefully, by doing these blog posts, I'll find some joy and a sense of accomplishment.

I don't quite have all 52 prompts yet, which is fine. Therefore, the topics will be quite varied... and I'm excited to see what I find interesting enough to share this year.

Let the adventure begin. :)

- C xx

Going to Town...Downtown!

Today is a post full of selfies! What can I say? :) I love taking selfies.

Anyway, I took a quick day trip to downtown Santa Barbara today. When I woke up, it was really wet and rainy, so I made sure to wear my rain jacket...

(You can sort of see how wet the ground was!)

Fortunately, the world dried up quickly and then the sun came out. I didn't need my rain jacket at all!

Anyway, I took the bus to the transit center. I had five things I wanted to do today. I needed to get my medications - one prescription and one over the counter, a birthday card, some hand sanitizer, groceries, and lunch. I had a budget of forty dollars...I spent around $64. Whoops... it was fun though :)

(The sky was clearing up!)

At CVS, I picked up my medication and two birthday cards, because I couldn't choose which one I liked more. :) Then, at Bath and Body Works, I picked up six hand sanitizers (three for me and three for a friend) and two hand lotions (one for me, and one for the same friend). At Ralphs, I got three bottles of sparkling water, a box of tea bags, two instant soup pouches, and some other little snacks,

(Lunch was a roasted chicken and walnut pesto sandwich and
chicken orzo soup from Pickle & Swiss!)

I got lunch at a little sandwich shop called Pickle & Swiss. It was a little overpriced to be honest, but definitely a treat so it's okay :)

(Me and my purchases!)

Though I did spend quite a bit today, it was nice to just get out. Now, all I need to do is to get through finals, and then I'll be okay. :)

Also - this is the last post of my Blog Everyday Challenge. I'm not sure what I'll do from this point on, but probably not daily posts. It was a little rough, but I did it and I'm proud.

Breathtaking.

I was heading to dinner with a friend after a long long day of being sick and studying, with emphasis on the last two syllables of the latter ;)

We walked outside and were greeted with this breathtaking view.

(3/4/2017 - View from Ortega Dining Commons)

There are so many things I love about my school, and this is one of them. I'm so grateful I go to UC Santa Barbara. If I didn't, I would have never met the people I've met, or be the person I am today.

Best Friend

I'm honestly just so grateful for this girl. <3

Night Time Musings

I didn't really have the energy to blog tonight, but I said I was going to, so here we are! Because I don't really have a topic today, I'm just going to treat this post like a giant brain dump.

- I'm sort of in a bit of a weird mood. I'm definitely not at my happiest, but I've also been worse off. I'm not sure why I'm in so much of a funk right now.

- I'm also a bit sick which sucks. And I have this horrible cough, and no energy, and so on.

- This month, I took on the Rock Your Handwriting challenge as well as my other responsibilities. Honestly, it isn't much of any work at all, but it's just another thing I'm trying to remember with my day.

- I wonder if I'll ever get my chem degree, and if I do, in how many years? Can I really do this college thing? It definitely seems hard.

Well, I'm going to sign off for the night... I still have quite a bit of work to do.

Good night!

-C

What's in my Pen Case? Pt. 2

Yesterday, I posted the part one of my two-part What's in my Pen Case series, so here's part two!

On the back of the panel that has my eight most frequently used pens, there are three mesh pockets. The stuff I keep in here is pretty straightforward.  In the top pocket, I have two little pads of staples brand sticky notes, one blue and one lime green. In the next, I keep two erasers, a black and a white.

(How I arrange things in these pockets!)

(The things I keep in those three pockets!)

The last pocket has a pad of yellow sticky notes and a pack of pencil lead, or rather, like fifteen consolidated packages in one container. I use the sticky notes to leave notes for people, write mini to-do lists, and of course, to take notes. Having three colors is really incredibly convenient, and these three pads fit perfectly in my pen case right now.

This isn't my favorite part of the pen case, however. The mesh isn't stretchy and I worry that I'll rip it apart. The erasers and lead don't stay in the pockets very well either...

(When you flip over the page of pens!)

And finally, in the bottom half of my pen case, I keep...well, pretty much everything else. :) I have a small white Rhodia grid pad (N. 12) which is useful for testing pens, leaving notes I want to keep, bigger to-do lists, and drawing on. Below it, I have a Tombow hybrid correction tape. Its grey tip can be pulled out in order to protect the white-out, but I find that I don't need to do that as it isn't messy at all. Neither of these items is secured to the pen case.

Underneath the Rhodia pad and the correction tape, I have quite a myriad of supplies... I just like being prepared. :) I have a mini stapler, a MUJI "stick type portable scissors," two rulers, three more mechanical pencils, two standard pens, and two fountain pens! Wow. I've posted pictures below. :)

I keep a metal ruler and a plastic ruler, as I've found that the metal one is (obviously) more durable, but the plastic one is a) see-through, b) a protractor, and c) required for my physics lab. But I wholly prefer my metal ruler - it's so nice and thin and sturdy.

      

The stapler I debated about, as I didn't think it would be useful, but I've used it a lot more than I thought I would! The scissors are there so I can snip off bits of thread from clothes or my backpack, or cut paper, or what not... essentially, I'm keeping my scissors in here to act like scissors. :) I also keep three other mechanical pencils back here. The green and the red/gold one are the same, except for color. (I put gold foil in the top of the red one to get that color.) I keep these three pencils back here in case my carpel tunnel is really bad - the wider barrels are much easier for me to hold and the grips are so comfortable!

There's also a 0.28 tip pen back here, which I use only to make notecards for linear algebra. My professor allows us to have a notecard, front and back, for midterms and exams, and with a very slim pen, I can fit more information on the card! :) The two fountain pens are just for funsies - if I have the time to let the ink dry, I'll use these pens. I absolutely adore the heaviness of the Jinhao 250. For such an inexpensive pen, it looks quite pricey and writes nicely. This pen has a fine nib (which I specified in the picture with an F). And of course, the Muji gel pen is my only pen in my entire pen case that isn't a color I could use for regular school work. It's nice to have a pen that has a little more pizzazz... and it helps me ensure that my pen case isn't just old and boring. ;)

(Pens I keep in the back...
Sorry for the off-center photograph!)

I just wanted to make sure I posted a photo of my five mechanical pencils (and my correction tape too, I suppose!) All of these pencils, with the exception of the Pilot Opt, were purchased in Taiwan. The Opt was a gift from a couple of good friends of mine.

(From top: Pilot Delful, Pilot Opt, and three Pilot Dr. Grip CLs, and a
Tombow mono hybrid style correction tape)

Alright, that's all I have for today's blog post! See you on Thursday!

What's in my Pen Case? Pt. 1

Hi there! :) As you may know, I'm currently majoring in chemistry at UC Santa Barbara. I'm also a little bit of a stationary collector... so I carry around a pen case with me. :) I thought I'd blog about it today - it's one of my favorite things I use.

This is a rather lengthy post, so I've split it up into two, so here is Part 2. :) In this post, we'll just be going through the top half of the pen case.

Before I begin, however, I'd like to post a disclaimer: I mostly use black and dark blue pens, as well as pencil. My pen case strongly reflects that. I have another pencil case I use that holds colorful pens, which I might blog about another day this week or just in the future. This is just the one I use for my work every single day.

Anyway, that's enough talking, so let's begin!

I use the LIHIT LAB pen case pictured below. (I've heard this pen case be called the "Teffa" pen case as well). I chose this specific one because I've heard a ton of good reviews about it, and even though I researched it (a bit, anyway), I was still surprised by how large it was. After using it for just over a month, however, I've gotten used to it, though it still is a bit unwieldy to use on the small desks we get in classes and such.

I don't keep anything in the outside pockets of my pen case, unless I have a midterm or a final, in which case I keep my ID in the smaller pocket. An index card will fit in the bigger pocket, but obviously, because it isn't very protected, I don't keep index cards in that pocket. As of right now, both pockets are empty.

When you open the pen case, on the first two "pages" of the pen case, I keep my white 0.5 Pilot Opt mechanical pencil, as well as my black and pink Pilot Delful 0.5 mechanical pencil. 

(What you see when you open my pen case!)

The Pilot Opt was a Christmas gift from two of my friends, and I love how sleek it looks. It has a spring clip that allows me to clip the pencil to papers, my mini legal pad folio, my bullet journal...really anything. And the Pilot Delful clicks like a pen, so that the piece that feeds the pencil lead doesn't always need to be exposed. It's my favorite pencil for travelling or keeping outside my pen case, as the tip stays protected. These two pencils are relatively slim (compared to the others I keep in my pen case) so they stay up at the front.

(Zebra Mildliners!)

And I also have my pastel set of Zebra Mildliners. I recently got these (as well as the yellow and blue sets) and I'm already in love with them! I'm going to save them for their own little blog post... :)

Anyway, on the next page of the pen case, I keep the eight pens I use the most - there are six black ones and two dark blue. 

I'm going to start off with the two pens on the bottom. I purchased the sharpie pen because I currently have carpel tunnel, and the sharpie pen is essentially a fineliner - it requires absolutely no pressure. It's not my favorite, as when the ink runs out, I'll have to toss the entire pen body and that's just a huge waste of plastic, but for now, it's nice to have. The Pilot Precise V5 definitely isn't my favorite pen. I use it for lab, as it requires a bit of pressure (which makes my carbon copies come out darker), but due to its needle-like tip bending under pressure, it isn't very durable. Once the ink runs out, I will most likely not repurchase it. 

But now, from the top! I like my dark blue Pilot G2 pens because of the color - it's something that's a little more interesting to look at. The G2 is a reliably good pen to use so I use it often - I keep two of those in my pen case and will often take notes with them. With the Uniball Signos, there really is no reason for me to have four of those except for varying tip sizes. I use the 0.38 tip (gold "ultra micro") for writing my cheat sheets for Chem, the 0.5 (gold "micro") for notes and letters, and the 0.7 (just the normal silver 207) for really everything else. The 207s are waterproof, unlike the G2 pens, and don't bleed when they get wet! The 0.7 signo is my go-to daily writer; in fact, I keep a third one clipped to my bullet journal. Although I love my dark blue G2 pens, sometimes, you just need the standard black pen.

(My most-used pens!)

Anyway, I'm going to stop here for tonight, as it is getting late. Happy Tuesday, and see you tomorrow!

-C

Wow, it's been a while.

Well...it's been quite a bit of time. It's already "next year," so to speak. I haven't touched the post button here since last summer, and since then, I've gone through 1.75 quarters.

But well, I'm going to challenge myself to post once a day for the next week. The blog posts may be really short, or maybe more in depth? I'm picking up on some new hobbies, got some cool new stationary, started a bullet journal...

A lot of stuff has happened and I want to remember most of it. What better way is there to do it than to blog about it?

Alright, that's all I'm going to blog about today Hopefully, tomorrow's post will be a bit more interesting!

-C

Oh Crap

Yesterday, I was a communication major.

Today, I'm a biochemistry major.

"Just" a Hike

       

(At the edge of the lagoon)

I'm officially in Santa Barbara for school now! Technically, move-in is tomorrow, so I'm just chilling in a hotel typing up a blog post on some pretty sweet free wifi, but well, Santa Barbara is going to be home for the next (at least) 4 years. I'm pretty lucky I chose the most beautiful UC campus.

There is so much flora surrounding the school. Paths meander along the edges of campus, wandering along the edges of the sea cliffs. Gorgeous blooms of pink, yellow, and purple dot the landscape, and bright greens occasionally appear amidst the drab brown landscape. Although the cliffs aren't necessarily high, I still felt tendrils of apprehension wrapping around my stomach when I looked over the edge, because it seemed like it would be so easy to fall. But the water, lapping at the shore some ten feet below, seemed calm and serene.

I walked a few of the paths today, wandering along the edges of the lagoon, and then following the edge of the cliffs.  As I hiked, I kept snapping photo after photo of the ocean, of interesting trees and of beautiful flowers, none of which I know the names of. Of course, I enjoyed the weather, sunny with a few scattered clouds. It was only in the mid 70's, which was a welcome respite from the weeks of 100+ degree weather from San Marino! Santa Barbara being 30 degrees is reason enough to stay here, because, well... summers in the LA county are just B-R-U-T-A-L.

Also, I was pretty surprised at the amount of "fauna" in SB. I saw flocks of birds, five or six lizards, and bugs of all types... as well as 68 pokemon today (ugh I know, I caught on to the craze...). Hahaha okay, but in all seriousness, it was cool to see people out on the beaches, playing in the ocean with their dogs and what not. It makes me so excited to come to school here.

(I'm just posting a few photos I took today on my hike...)

Something I thought was super cool was the stone labyrinth. There was a little informational sign near it, saying that there was no wrong way to walk the labyrinth, and that the entire distance of the maze was 0.6 miles.  I walked it (took me around 10 minutes) and once I was done, I had to take a moment to appreciate how much work went into the labyrinth... people had to bring the stones up, line them up in a maze, and then walk and measure how long it took to walk. And I was tired from just walking the maze... it definitely made me think. And I think this will be one of my favorite places to spend time this summer, and for the next few years.

(The labyrinth!)

I know I said I didn't feel ready to move on, and I still stand by that. But the beauty of the campus definitely quells the homesickness, and I guess I feel a little more ready.

Not Ready to Move On

I'm going to Santa Barbara tomorrow.

I'm not ready. There's so much I haven't finished... and I don't mean packing.

Because, well, look:

(Mountain of "stuff")

There is no way I didn't pack enough...haha. I have boxes of things, and new shoes, and sheets, and pillows and notebooks and just a lot of stuff.

I just don't think I finished everything I wanted to do. I've been ready to leave San Marino for a few years now, or so I thought. Because, well...tomorrow is the beginning of a new adventure. I'm going to Santa Barbara for orientation, for the freshman summer start program, and for a few months, with a couple weeks of break in between.

I'm alternating between excitement and terror... I'm excited, I really am. but it's just that San Marino was hard for me to get through... and I hope Santa Barbara won't be the same. Somehow, though, San Marino was "home." And when I leave, I'll be leaving behind some wonderful people, memories, and places. I'll miss so many people so much, and it's hard to imagine leaving. I'm not ready to move on.

But I don't have a choice - I leave tomorrow and it's going to be fun, I know. I'll be going to school by the beach, and I fell in love with the campus back in March or April, so having to spend a few weeks/months/years somewhere I love doesn't really seem that bad. So I'll be okay.

But why is it so hard to convince myself?

Sew What?

If you checked out my senior project blog, you'll sort of know of what happened during the second half of my senior year. Long story short, my left arm had a large bone growth: a benign bone tumor. However, it was large enough to start impeding on my radial and ulnar nerves, as well as a handful of other fairly notable ones, which caused my entire left arm to lose function.

Around the same time, I was doing my senior project, which was quilting. And well, it's hard to sew one-handed. I detailed a lot of my frustration on that other blog, so if you're really that interested (hey, no judgement here), go check it out by that link above.

Well, I'm leaving to go to Santa Barbara for college in a couple days (WOOT WOOT GO GAUCHOS). And I just wanted to prove to myself that my arm is at least 80%. I may not be able to use it quite as well as before, but I was able to sew a little pouch out of some pretty pink flowery fabric.

Sewing is still as difficult as I remember... so nothing has really changed. :)

Mykonos, Greece

Why is Europe like a giant frying pan?

Because Greece is at the bottom!!! :)
--

Greece is HOT! We took the day off from our actual duties and took a visit to Delos, an island known for being Apollo's birthplace. It was absolutely magical! Though there were a lot of spiky plants that scraped up my legs... and again, it was really hot. We were only able to explore for 2 hours (there really is no shade on the island) before we were all hot and tired and ready to return to Mykonos to explore.

(Delos Island, Greece)

So then we hit up Mykonos. And I don't know how to describe how beautiful the city was, so just take a look below for yourself. Greece just has a certain charm, I guess, and is irresistable. Looking at the photos makes me want to go back. It really is just that pretty.

Mykonos was designed in a way that was supposed to be confusing, so that pirates would get all confused when chasing people who lived there. But it really wasn't that big so it's hard to get truly lost, and was super duper enjoyable to walk around. My feet hurt a lot after... :)

(Mykonos, Greece)

Also, there are tons of stray cats! Seeing that I want to be a cat when I grow up, this was a nice thing to find. The cats, for the most part, didn't seem to be starving. I saw a lot of cat food around, and absolutely no cat poop... Mykonos takes care of their strays, I guess. I have at least 100 photos of cats in Greece alone... here are just a few highlights...

                  

I assume these photos don't need captions. Cats are so cute... and there were so many! Cat heaven.

Oh yeah, Mykonos has these five windmills on a hill. Not sure what those were about, but oh well. They were really picturesque and just added to the overall beauty of the city. So...yeah. Mykonos was really fun and I absolutely loved it!




Must Do:
- Get a gyro at Jimmy's
- Check out Amnesia
- Check out the beaches... the water is so so clear
- Take a ton of photos of the city

Istanbul, Turkey

Turkey! Seriously one of the coolest places I've ever been to.

(Hagia Sofia)

The mosques here are just spectacular. The bazaars are a bit bizarre, but really fun and busy. The people here are super nice (it isn't weird for someone you just met on the streets to invite you home for lunch or dinner) and there are so many sights to see, people to meet, and stray dogs and cats to pet...if you dare. I didn't really.

Turkey has the Turkish Lira, which is really quite a pretty word. Lira is totally something I'd name a potential future daughter. I could tell her that she's so valuable to me, I named her for money, except one lira is about 30 cents here... so perhaps 1000000000 lira would be a better name... hahaha.

(Probably a million dollars worth
of handwoven carpets.)

 We also got to stop by a carpet warehouse where they got us cold refreshing drinks and tried to sell us carpets. I asked about one that was 8.5 inches by 11 inches (the size of a standard sheet of paper in the US) and was told that it cost $725 (a bargain!!!) and was the result of a month and a half of work by a master carpet maker, and that it contained over 200,000 knots.

A little out of my price range, but definitely very pretty. The carpets were super intricate, and looked like a pain in the behind to make. What astounded me was the sheer quantity of carpets in the warehouse... years and years of hard work.

Just pure craziness, I tell you... hahaha.

We also visited the Blue Mosque, Hagia Sofia, the Spice Bazaar, the Grand Cistern, and tons of other really neat places.

At the Spice Bazaar, we learned how to tell real saffron from fake saffron (real saffron in cold water turns urine yellow. Fake saffron turns barely yellow... sorry for the mental image!) There were bins of dried fruits, which were gorgeous because of all the colors!

(Dried fruit!)

We brought home some turkish delight, some tea, and a few trinkets. Turkey is just so so beautiful, and impossible not to love.

Another thing Turkey is known for are their turkish towels. They're expensive here in the US but super cheap in Turkey - anywhere from 5 lira (~$1.50) to 15 lira (~$5.00). I purchased two, and they're my new favorite thing!

(Blue Mosque lights)

When we were there, there was some sort of celebration and thousands of people were gathered in the area between and around Hagia Sofia and the Blue Mosque, spending time with family and feasting after a fast. Lights were playing on the Blue Mosque and boy, was it gorgeous... I loved every moment of it.

Unfortunately, a couple days after we left, tensions started rising in Turkey, and I'm sure we've all heard the news (and more news... :( ). Prayers to Turkey - although I'm grateful that we got out of there in the nick of time... I'm devastated for those that didn't make it, or/and are still stuck in Turkey, terrified for their lives. It's really truly awful.

Let's Go to Europe For a Month!

I'll be heading off to Europe for just over a month (at least that's the plan...)

I'll be touching down in Istanbul, and then slowly making my way across the Mediterranean. Along the way, I'll be visiting Greece, Malta, Italy, France, Monaco, Morocco, and Spain. I think it'll be really really fun!

After Europe, I plan to fly to Taiwan and spend some time with family, but that can change depending on health issues and typhoons. Seeing that I start college July 26th (technically August 1st, but then I need to move in and do orientation, so I leave July 26th), I need to get my stuff done.

If things go according to plan, I'll be home on July 23rd. If things fail spectacularly, I'll either be home July 13th, or never... definitely hoping it isn't the latter. Bad jokes aside, it really is looking like the 13th. The last time I went to Taiwan, I got home three days later. I don't have the three days to spare this year.

But anyway, we're heading off to the airport soon. I'll try to post selfies and what not, but won't be able to post photos of the kids. It's apparently illegal or something, so photos of me will have to suffice. :)