2017 sucked.
I started the year off well. January and the first half of February were relatively okay. Sometime in the middle of February, however, I was diagnosed with mononucleosis.
It took months, but I did eventually get better - I was feeling almost 100% by the end of winter quarter. I even traveled to China during spring break!
Literally the day I got back, however, I ended up with cancer.
During the year, people died. People came into my life and left spectacularly... in terrible ways. I got sexually assaulted...by at least five people, and of them all, I only know the identity of one person. I don't know how many people have been in me.
2017 was hard and I don't know how I got through it.
The way 2018 is going, however, I don't think it's that much better.
Saturday, January 13, 2018
Wednesday, January 3, 2018
The Plan!
This year, one of my new year's resolutions is to blog every week of the year. Fifty-two blog posts in fifty-two weeks!
Some posts will be long, and some will be short. Some will have pictures, and some won't. Some will have quality content, and to be honest, some won't... but I'm determined to do this anyway!
Why am I doing this? Well...
Over winter break, I ended up in the hospital...twice. The first time was due to overwhelming anxiety and nonstop panic attacks. I would spend days in bed, not even getting up to eat, go to the bathroom, shower... it was terrible. And I guess it was a little too pitiful, so I ended up with some good medication that helped me deal with the crazy mess my life became...
Of course, until I overdosed on said medication and spent another few days in the hospital quite literally on suicide watch.
During that second hospitalization, I journaled... a lot. I wrote until my hands bled, and then switched to typing until my vision was blurry. And it was therapeutic and it helped me begin to sort out the complicated emotional mess in my brain, so here I am. Hopefully, by doing these blog posts, I'll find some joy and a sense of accomplishment.
I don't quite have all 52 prompts yet, which is fine. Therefore, the topics will be quite varied... and I'm excited to see what I find interesting enough to share this year.
Let the adventure begin. :)
- C xx
Some posts will be long, and some will be short. Some will have pictures, and some won't. Some will have quality content, and to be honest, some won't... but I'm determined to do this anyway!
Why am I doing this? Well...
Over winter break, I ended up in the hospital...twice. The first time was due to overwhelming anxiety and nonstop panic attacks. I would spend days in bed, not even getting up to eat, go to the bathroom, shower... it was terrible. And I guess it was a little too pitiful, so I ended up with some good medication that helped me deal with the crazy mess my life became...
Of course, until I overdosed on said medication and spent another few days in the hospital quite literally on suicide watch.
During that second hospitalization, I journaled... a lot. I wrote until my hands bled, and then switched to typing until my vision was blurry. And it was therapeutic and it helped me begin to sort out the complicated emotional mess in my brain, so here I am. Hopefully, by doing these blog posts, I'll find some joy and a sense of accomplishment.
I don't quite have all 52 prompts yet, which is fine. Therefore, the topics will be quite varied... and I'm excited to see what I find interesting enough to share this year.
Let the adventure begin. :)
- C xx
Sunday, March 5, 2017
Going to Town...Downtown!
Today is a post full of selfies! What can I say? :) I love taking selfies.
Anyway, I took a quick day trip to downtown Santa Barbara today. When I woke up, it was really wet and rainy, so I made sure to wear my rain jacket...
Fortunately, the world dried up quickly and then the sun came out. I didn't need my rain jacket at all!
At CVS, I picked up my medication and two birthday cards, because I couldn't choose which one I liked more. :) Then, at Bath and Body Works, I picked up six hand sanitizers (three for me and three for a friend) and two hand lotions (one for me, and one for the same friend). At Ralphs, I got three bottles of sparkling water, a box of tea bags, two instant soup pouches, and some other little snacks,
I got lunch at a little sandwich shop called Pickle & Swiss. It was a little overpriced to be honest, but definitely a treat so it's okay :)
Though I did spend quite a bit today, it was nice to just get out. Now, all I need to do is to get through finals, and then I'll be okay. :)
Anyway, I took a quick day trip to downtown Santa Barbara today. When I woke up, it was really wet and rainy, so I made sure to wear my rain jacket...
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| (You can sort of see how wet the ground was!) |
Anyway, I took the bus to the transit center. I had five things I wanted to do today. I needed to get my medications - one prescription and one over the counter, a birthday card, some hand sanitizer, groceries, and lunch. I had a budget of forty dollars...I spent around $64. Whoops... it was fun though :)
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| (The sky was clearing up!) |
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| (Lunch was a roasted chicken and walnut pesto sandwich and chicken orzo soup from Pickle & Swiss!) |
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| (Me and my purchases!) |
Saturday, March 4, 2017
Breathtaking.
I was heading to dinner with a friend after a long long day of being sick and studying, with emphasis on the last two syllables of the latter ;)
We walked outside and were greeted with this breathtaking view.
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| (3/4/2017 - View from Ortega Dining Commons) |
There are so many things I love about my school, and this is one of them. I'm so grateful I go to UC Santa Barbara. If I didn't, I would have never met the people I've met, or be the person I am today.
Friday, March 3, 2017
Thursday, March 2, 2017
Night Time Musings
I didn't really have the energy to blog tonight, but I said I was going to, so here we are! Because I don't really have a topic today, I'm just going to treat this post like a giant brain dump.
- I'm sort of in a bit of a weird mood. I'm definitely not at my happiest, but I've also been worse off. I'm not sure why I'm in so much of a funk right now.
- I'm also a bit sick which sucks. And I have this horrible cough, and no energy, and so on.
- This month, I took on the Rock Your Handwriting challenge as well as my other responsibilities. Honestly, it isn't much of any work at all, but it's just another thing I'm trying to remember with my day.
- I wonder if I'll ever get my chem degree, and if I do, in how many years? Can I really do this college thing? It definitely seems hard.
Well, I'm going to sign off for the night... I still have quite a bit of work to do.
Good night!
-C
- I'm sort of in a bit of a weird mood. I'm definitely not at my happiest, but I've also been worse off. I'm not sure why I'm in so much of a funk right now.
- I'm also a bit sick which sucks. And I have this horrible cough, and no energy, and so on.
- This month, I took on the Rock Your Handwriting challenge as well as my other responsibilities. Honestly, it isn't much of any work at all, but it's just another thing I'm trying to remember with my day.
- I wonder if I'll ever get my chem degree, and if I do, in how many years? Can I really do this college thing? It definitely seems hard.
Well, I'm going to sign off for the night... I still have quite a bit of work to do.
Good night!
-C
Wednesday, March 1, 2017
What's in my Pen Case? Pt. 2
Yesterday, I posted the part one of my two-part What's in my Pen Case series, so here's part two!
On the back of the panel that has my eight most frequently used pens, there are three mesh pockets. The stuff I keep in here is pretty straightforward. In the top pocket, I have two little pads of staples brand sticky notes, one blue and one lime green. In the next, I keep two erasers, a black and a white.
The last pocket has a pad of yellow sticky notes and a pack of pencil lead, or rather, like fifteen consolidated packages in one container. I use the sticky notes to leave notes for people, write mini to-do lists, and of course, to take notes. Having three colors is really incredibly convenient, and these three pads fit perfectly in my pen case right now.
This isn't my favorite part of the pen case, however. The mesh isn't stretchy and I worry that I'll rip it apart. The erasers and lead don't stay in the pockets very well either...
And finally, in the bottom half of my pen case, I keep...well, pretty much everything else. :) I have a small white Rhodia grid pad (N. 12) which is useful for testing pens, leaving notes I want to keep, bigger to-do lists, and drawing on. Below it, I have a Tombow hybrid correction tape. Its grey tip can be pulled out in order to protect the white-out, but I find that I don't need to do that as it isn't messy at all. Neither of these items is secured to the pen case.
Underneath the Rhodia pad and the correction tape, I have quite a myriad of supplies... I just like being prepared. :) I have a mini stapler, a MUJI "stick type portable scissors," two rulers, three more mechanical pencils, two standard pens, and two fountain pens! Wow. I've posted pictures below. :)
I keep a metal ruler and a plastic ruler, as I've found that the metal one is (obviously) more durable, but the plastic one is a) see-through, b) a protractor, and c) required for my physics lab. But I wholly prefer my metal ruler - it's so nice and thin and sturdy.
The stapler I debated about, as I didn't think it would be useful, but I've used it a lot more than I thought I would! The scissors are there so I can snip off bits of thread from clothes or my backpack, or cut paper, or what not... essentially, I'm keeping my scissors in here to act like scissors. :) I also keep three other mechanical pencils back here. The green and the red/gold one are the same, except for color. (I put gold foil in the top of the red one to get that color.) I keep these three pencils back here in case my carpel tunnel is really bad - the wider barrels are much easier for me to hold and the grips are so comfortable!
There's also a 0.28 tip pen back here, which I use only to make notecards for linear algebra. My professor allows us to have a notecard, front and back, for midterms and exams, and with a very slim pen, I can fit more information on the card! :) The two fountain pens are just for funsies - if I have the time to let the ink dry, I'll use these pens. I absolutely adore the heaviness of the Jinhao 250. For such an inexpensive pen, it looks quite pricey and writes nicely. This pen has a fine nib (which I specified in the picture with an F). And of course, the Muji gel pen is my only pen in my entire pen case that isn't a color I could use for regular school work. It's nice to have a pen that has a little more pizzazz... and it helps me ensure that my pen case isn't just old and boring. ;)
I just wanted to make sure I posted a photo of my five mechanical pencils (and my correction tape too, I suppose!) All of these pencils, with the exception of the Pilot Opt, were purchased in Taiwan. The Opt was a gift from a couple of good friends of mine.
Alright, that's all I have for today's blog post! See you on Thursday!
On the back of the panel that has my eight most frequently used pens, there are three mesh pockets. The stuff I keep in here is pretty straightforward. In the top pocket, I have two little pads of staples brand sticky notes, one blue and one lime green. In the next, I keep two erasers, a black and a white.
 |
| (How I arrange things in these pockets!) |
 |
| (The things I keep in those three pockets!) |
The last pocket has a pad of yellow sticky notes and a pack of pencil lead, or rather, like fifteen consolidated packages in one container. I use the sticky notes to leave notes for people, write mini to-do lists, and of course, to take notes. Having three colors is really incredibly convenient, and these three pads fit perfectly in my pen case right now.
This isn't my favorite part of the pen case, however. The mesh isn't stretchy and I worry that I'll rip it apart. The erasers and lead don't stay in the pockets very well either...
 |
| (When you flip over the page of pens!) |
Underneath the Rhodia pad and the correction tape, I have quite a myriad of supplies... I just like being prepared. :) I have a mini stapler, a MUJI "stick type portable scissors," two rulers, three more mechanical pencils, two standard pens, and two fountain pens! Wow. I've posted pictures below. :)
I keep a metal ruler and a plastic ruler, as I've found that the metal one is (obviously) more durable, but the plastic one is a) see-through, b) a protractor, and c) required for my physics lab. But I wholly prefer my metal ruler - it's so nice and thin and sturdy.
The stapler I debated about, as I didn't think it would be useful, but I've used it a lot more than I thought I would! The scissors are there so I can snip off bits of thread from clothes or my backpack, or cut paper, or what not... essentially, I'm keeping my scissors in here to act like scissors. :) I also keep three other mechanical pencils back here. The green and the red/gold one are the same, except for color. (I put gold foil in the top of the red one to get that color.) I keep these three pencils back here in case my carpel tunnel is really bad - the wider barrels are much easier for me to hold and the grips are so comfortable!
There's also a 0.28 tip pen back here, which I use only to make notecards for linear algebra. My professor allows us to have a notecard, front and back, for midterms and exams, and with a very slim pen, I can fit more information on the card! :) The two fountain pens are just for funsies - if I have the time to let the ink dry, I'll use these pens. I absolutely adore the heaviness of the Jinhao 250. For such an inexpensive pen, it looks quite pricey and writes nicely. This pen has a fine nib (which I specified in the picture with an F). And of course, the Muji gel pen is my only pen in my entire pen case that isn't a color I could use for regular school work. It's nice to have a pen that has a little more pizzazz... and it helps me ensure that my pen case isn't just old and boring. ;)
 |
| (Pens I keep in the back... Sorry for the off-center photograph!) |
I just wanted to make sure I posted a photo of my five mechanical pencils (and my correction tape too, I suppose!) All of these pencils, with the exception of the Pilot Opt, were purchased in Taiwan. The Opt was a gift from a couple of good friends of mine.
 |
| (From top: Pilot Delful, Pilot Opt, and three Pilot Dr. Grip CLs, and a Tombow mono hybrid style correction tape) |
Alright, that's all I have for today's blog post! See you on Thursday!
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