2018 Sucks

Posts are gonna be pretty sporadic. Friend was diagnosed with leukemia 1/9/2018.

On top of that, also on the 9th, there were crazy mudslides in Montecito, in which over 20 people died.

Santa Barbara is sort of a disaster. First the Thomas fire (which wasn't in SB but it did get pretty close, and the air here was definitely a health hazard), then the mudslides. And then, they dumped the mud into the ocean and now, the ocean is too dangerous to go in due to high levels of bacteria.

Woop. Like I said. 2018 is really sucking right now.

2017

2017 sucked.

I started the year off well. January and the first half of February were relatively okay. Sometime in the middle of February, however, I was diagnosed with mononucleosis.

It took months, but I did eventually get better - I was feeling almost 100% by the end of winter quarter. I even traveled to China during spring break!

Literally the day I got back, however, I ended up with cancer.

During the year, people died. People came into my life and left spectacularly... in terrible ways. I got sexually assaulted...by at least five people, and of them all, I only know the identity of one person. I don't know how many people have been in me.

2017 was hard and I don't know how I got through it.

The way 2018 is going, however, I don't think it's that much better.

The Plan!

This year, one of my new year's resolutions is to blog every week of the year. Fifty-two blog posts in fifty-two weeks!

Some posts will be long, and some will be short. Some will have pictures, and some won't. Some will have quality content, and to be honest, some won't... but I'm determined to do this anyway!

Why am I doing this? Well...

Over winter break, I ended up in the hospital...twice. The first time was due to overwhelming anxiety and nonstop panic attacks. I would spend days in bed, not even getting up to eat, go to the bathroom, shower... it was terrible. And I guess it was a little too pitiful, so I ended up with some good medication that helped me deal with the crazy mess my life became...

Of course, until I overdosed on said medication and spent another few days in the hospital quite literally on suicide watch.

During that second hospitalization, I journaled... a lot. I wrote until my hands bled, and then switched to typing until my vision was blurry. And it was therapeutic and it helped me begin to sort out the complicated emotional mess in my brain, so here I am. Hopefully, by doing these blog posts, I'll find some joy and a sense of accomplishment.

I don't quite have all 52 prompts yet, which is fine. Therefore, the topics will be quite varied... and I'm excited to see what I find interesting enough to share this year.

Let the adventure begin. :)

- C xx

Going to Town...Downtown!

Today is a post full of selfies! What can I say? :) I love taking selfies.

Anyway, I took a quick day trip to downtown Santa Barbara today. When I woke up, it was really wet and rainy, so I made sure to wear my rain jacket...

(You can sort of see how wet the ground was!)

Fortunately, the world dried up quickly and then the sun came out. I didn't need my rain jacket at all!

Anyway, I took the bus to the transit center. I had five things I wanted to do today. I needed to get my medications - one prescription and one over the counter, a birthday card, some hand sanitizer, groceries, and lunch. I had a budget of forty dollars...I spent around $64. Whoops... it was fun though :)

(The sky was clearing up!)

At CVS, I picked up my medication and two birthday cards, because I couldn't choose which one I liked more. :) Then, at Bath and Body Works, I picked up six hand sanitizers (three for me and three for a friend) and two hand lotions (one for me, and one for the same friend). At Ralphs, I got three bottles of sparkling water, a box of tea bags, two instant soup pouches, and some other little snacks,

(Lunch was a roasted chicken and walnut pesto sandwich and
chicken orzo soup from Pickle & Swiss!)

I got lunch at a little sandwich shop called Pickle & Swiss. It was a little overpriced to be honest, but definitely a treat so it's okay :)

(Me and my purchases!)

Though I did spend quite a bit today, it was nice to just get out. Now, all I need to do is to get through finals, and then I'll be okay. :)

Also - this is the last post of my Blog Everyday Challenge. I'm not sure what I'll do from this point on, but probably not daily posts. It was a little rough, but I did it and I'm proud.

Breathtaking.

I was heading to dinner with a friend after a long long day of being sick and studying, with emphasis on the last two syllables of the latter ;)

We walked outside and were greeted with this breathtaking view.

(3/4/2017 - View from Ortega Dining Commons)

There are so many things I love about my school, and this is one of them. I'm so grateful I go to UC Santa Barbara. If I didn't, I would have never met the people I've met, or be the person I am today.

Best Friend

I'm honestly just so grateful for this girl. <3

Night Time Musings

I didn't really have the energy to blog tonight, but I said I was going to, so here we are! Because I don't really have a topic today, I'm just going to treat this post like a giant brain dump.

- I'm sort of in a bit of a weird mood. I'm definitely not at my happiest, but I've also been worse off. I'm not sure why I'm in so much of a funk right now.

- I'm also a bit sick which sucks. And I have this horrible cough, and no energy, and so on.

- This month, I took on the Rock Your Handwriting challenge as well as my other responsibilities. Honestly, it isn't much of any work at all, but it's just another thing I'm trying to remember with my day.

- I wonder if I'll ever get my chem degree, and if I do, in how many years? Can I really do this college thing? It definitely seems hard.

Well, I'm going to sign off for the night... I still have quite a bit of work to do.

Good night!

-C